Every other time I've been in this situation I've known what to do and how to handle it. Every other time I've been at a spot where I had to choose to stay and fight or leave, I've always known what to do. And almost every time a friend has been in this spot I've known how to deal with it. At this point... I'm torn. I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
A piece of me feels like this will blow over because it always has. It always does. That's how things work with this relationship...
But then we're at the point where the relationship ends for me. It's been almost 5 years. That's my breaking point. I'm so tired. So tired of constantly bailing her out. Of constantly fixing her problems. So tired of pulling out information about who she is and what she's doing.
I don't have the energy for it. But then... maybe it's just that I'm tired of arguing. I've lost a sense of grace I used to have. I just don't know.
I think it will blow over if her friendship is true, although I think she does need to put a little effort into saving your relationship.
ReplyDelete~Michelle
Ah we both need to put a little effort in to saving the relationship. She's hurt and I TOTALLY understand that. Right now, I'm not willing to back down on my points. I won't until I KNOW that she's changed. I've been severely harsh, she's been severely leeching. Until both of us are ready I fear the silence will continue....
ReplyDeleteI know she thinks this was easy for me but it wasn't. If I was completely unfounded I would have backed down... this time she has to see my point before I'm willing to make any more concessions. I've found notes in my journals of me dealing with these same issues I've called her out on dated from 2007. I think I've given her enough second chances.
Sigh... I still hope we'll find a way through this... I never thought I'd want to let her go.
Oh crap. I have this problem with always wanting to share my opinion. I need to learn how to back down and not offer my two cents every time an idea pops into my head.
ReplyDeleteUm.
But I think you two had pigeonholed each other. You both need to grow for the friendship to work, and maybe... you weren't letting each other do that.
From the outside it looked like a mutual thing.
Just because you still care about someone doesn't mean it isn't time for you to move on, and it doesn't mean that there won't be a road to bring you back.
iuyyyyytttttttt-------
Chester says "hi."
True story. When people are in unbalanced relationships it kills both parties.
ReplyDeleteIt was time for us to move on. If we had been willing to pay attention to the signs before, we would have ended this on a different note.
I still say I'd like for us to start over and be in each others lives but it would require both of us to change. I still worry about how she's doing, but... we're not ready for each other yet.