What If I Fall?

The week home from California has been one ripe with conflicts. Not only my own but also those of friends and family. 
While many of us have figured out how to look in the mirror and see our own flaws and faults, too many of us have forgotten how to forgive ourselves for our own mistakes and forgive others for repeating the same mistake.
It's alright that we've made mistakes, we haven't failed until we refuse to learn and let go.


The song for the day is "What If I Stumble" by DC Talk.

Some great adventure!

I'm back from California, and I'd like to say that my absence is due to some earth shatteringly awesome adventure out to California and a wonderful week in Los Angeles and Anaheim, but I can't. I'd like to be able to say I feel like I saw California and the magic of LA, but I can't. In fact, all that I can say is that the beds and showers of the Hilton Anaheim are amazing, Disneyland is overpriced - even if it does smell like cookies- and the traffic isn't nearly as bad or complicated as people make it seem. It's quite possible, even likely, that I didn't enjoy California as much as I would have liked because virtually the entire time I was thinking about someone who would have made the trip better, or more enjoyable, or simply less lonely. I wasn't thinking of having someone along who would have filled all the empty silences or made the Griddle Cafe more entertaining (there was no way that trip could have gone better), rather I was thinking of the friends who know when to not insert a conversation about a tree whilst staring out in to the expanse of the ocean but know when to insert a conversation about said tree whilst trying to plan an escape to the Sequoia National Forest during my free night.  And so I'm hoping that these pictures will give those of you who should have been there an idea of when I was thinking of you, and will thank those of you who were there for making the trip just a little bit better. :)

Believe it or not I spent the better part of the week in my hotel room... hence my lamentations.  Still I think you can see why I wasn't too bent out of shape about it.

Before I headed to the hotel I did get to see the ocean and a Hanson concert (way to be resourceful! Go me!)

Then on to the Walk and the show, where I wound up thanks to Marie Ann on the balcony stage right... Isaac's side. Win.

For some reason the shaking of the balcony over powered my anti-shake feature on the camera. I find the fuzziness of the shots to be ironic as the whole trip feels a little fuzzy to me now.

 



This shot I love.

Fuzzy yes, but that's Chuck. Important to note... mostly because I hadn't realized that Isaac played the Gibson ES345 on Been There Before until this moment. The "D'oh!" moment for me was MASSIVE.

LOVE this shot as well.  Trust me people were concert called.

But by the time all that was done, I was headed over to work. We kicked off the week of work with dinner at Downtown Disney (over rated.... Disney in general is overrated but c'est la vie) Some of it was awesome and that's what follows...

There is a Lego store in Disney. And I was in full geek mode.

Apparently, Downtown Disney comes complete with busking musicians... on dulcimers.

 Happily ever after includes Prince Charming getting in some serious trouble with Cinderella.

And Ariel used spray on deodorant.

Then I was back to the hotel.  Where I spent the rest of the week.

There are some great shots from the plane on the way home, but those are all stuck on my phone for the time being.

 It wasn't until I was on my way home that I finally saw the wonder of the ocean in such a way that I was awestruck by it. It was seeing it through an airplane window that put it in perspective, and maybe that's what my problem was this week. There was no border, there was no frame, it was just the ocean and Disney open for all the world to see and it was too much for me to embrace.

I'd do it again in a heart beat, but next time I see LA I fully intend to bring a friend or two, so maybe just maybe I can spend less time feeling lonely and more time feeling the wonder of the infinite of the ocean.

Song for today: 3x5 by John Mayer 

We're on a mission from God!

Jake: Ma'am, would it make you feel any better if you knew that what we're asking Matt here to do is a holy thing?
Elwood: You see, we're on a mission from God.
Mrs. Murphy: Don't you blaspheme in here! Don't you blaspheme in here! This is my man, this is my restaurant, and you two are just gonna walk right out that door without your dry white toast, without your four fried chickens, and without Matt 'Guitar' Murphy!

Ah it's a Blues Brother's kind of morning. I woke to find a few new blogs posted from some of my favorite people and amongst them was a video of a concert performance in Carnegie Hall.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5KTntFnyRQ&NR=1

It's a reminder that music isn't just about having a good time. It's a connection to something greater than our selves. It so quickly wipes away our pretenses and lets us simply be true and authentic. It's scientifically proven to be impossible to not let music affect your demeanor and mood. And a song like this gives the gift of humility and the joy of a hopeful tomorrow. It's worth a listen.

Ambigous

I'm not sure why it is that we often consume so much time trying to find nice ways to say mean things. The amount of time that we waste trying to find a nice way to say "no I really don't want to see you" could be so much better spent. Furthermore, what solution we do resort to usually leaves the other party confused and we wind up hurting the feelings we didn't want to hurt in the first place. 

I've been trying to work this out all weekend and I just can't find any reason to it. Yet, I'm still in the same battle; how to say it, what medium to use (somethings are just easier to take via text and some should never be said over text), and what happens if they just don't get it.

If anyone's figured out the balance of social propriety and conveying the ugly truth, please let me know.

The song for the day: Gordon Lightfoot "If You Could Read My Mind"
It's a track that played through out my childhood. It's underrated but if some how you don't know it by title chances are good that you'll know it when you hear it. Enjoy.

Biscotti

I hate change. Loathe it. I've talked about this before, but in case you missed it. Change makes me feel like I'm being dragged under water by a giant squid and I have no escape. Change is a terrible vile thing that up heaves my life and my standard way of doing things and it causes me to flounder grasping for straws where there used to be plenty and now are none. Change in a floor plan causes me to stub my toes, trip over tables and chairs and throw coffee over everything.
Changes in the arrangement of the coffee bar at work causes me to try to put forks in the coffee maker.
So, I do not take kindly to random people (who probably work in this office) deciding that I need over 200 forks to reside in the drawer that houses my coffee and filters. And that therefore, my filters and coffee can happily commingle with the decaf in the next drawer. Um... no. I don't do well with that at all. We already have a drawer for utensils; forks can go there. Or even in the empty one. But don't move my coffee.
I just spent 15 minutes cleaning out utensil drawers and moving forks out of my way to move my coffee home. I have a feeling it was done by someone who doesn't drink coffee and that person is likely to have biscotti thrown at their head.

Rosh Hashanah

Today's Rosh Hashanah, and there for the new year for the Jewish calendar. It's a day that begins a period of self reflection and repentance.  One of the things I love most about the Jewish faith is the focus to apologize and an attempt to make right the sins of the past. It's something that all too many people fail to do, but something we all need. 
Today I'm starting by repenting for my own sins and my own mistakes, and asking myself to forgive me. I've got a heavy grab bag of things to forgive myself for. And I've got to get past my own injury before I heal the injuries I've caused others and have received from others.

Today's a great day. It's a fresh start.

Song for the day: The Walk by Imogen Heap

We've been blessed with some amazing weather this weekend. This is truly the weather that people dream of mid 70's, clear skies and soft breezes.

I slept with my window open and waking up to soft sunline and birds chirping  was the final straw to win my argument to never live in the city.

Song for the Day: Don McLean's "Castles in the Air" 
It's one of the best pop singer/songwriter songs ever. If it doesn't make you want to move to the country, nothing ever will.