Throwing Stones

The thought that I've worked my way between a rock and hard place is not lost on me.

The past week saw my birthday come and go, and it was a week that started exactly how I could only hope for it to go. In fact if you were to tell my 19 year old version of me that ten years later that would be how I rang in the last year in my 20s I would probably think you were crazy.
A long day at work for sure, but I haven't had a day that wasn't long in over a month.  But it was followed (as usual on Mondays) by drinks with a friend, his wife (and usually their friends) at one of my favorite bars. The snow kept the place quiet. At midnight, I was well enough drunk that I don't remember but I've been told that I informed everyone I was drunk ...several times. (Classy, good job you. Drunk enough to think that drunk is either a public service announcement or a status to brag about... c.l.a.s.s.y.) So my birthday morning was drunken joy, followed by headaches and nausea. (We learned things in our college days, didn't we? DINDN'T WE?! Shhhhhh.) 

The day it self was full of good food (Really good, and you were still drunk enough that escargot sounded like a good idea... yeah, sober, you just realized that you ate snails. Snails. Go you. You hook your own fishing rods but snails? Seriously, kid? Yeah, hang out with your classy friends and you eat snails. .... Wait a second you, yeah, I had snails... but it's not like I dragged them out of their shells and ate them in the mud, you weirdo. The classy friends also topped off dinner with crème brûlée. When was the last time we let ourselves order something that nice? When was the last time we indulged so well? So, yeah, maybe now sober you can squeem at the escargot but you got crème brûlée out of the deal, so hush.)  and amazing friends, great conversation and some wonderful hugs.

The week ended horribly. The sinus infection to end all others. The sinus infection that defied the science of medicine and vitamin c infusions. I was down for the count from Thursday on.

This week though, has led me to evaluate a few things that I didn't always see coming. Like the fact that when I get stressed out, instead of shutting everyone out like I used to do (my friends called it falling off the face of the planet... fitting) I just get really impossible to please and hold people I don't really know accountable. I'm not very good at letting go of these fictitious offenses. So instead of lambasting friends I lambast vague associations, so I can still feel validated in my anger instead of fixing the stress causing situations. The first step to changing  a behavior is realizing that you do it, so here's the start. Here's hoping I won't drive myself crazy fixing it.

Still on the Tengo kick. Song for the week. Yo La Tengo, Sometimes I Don't Get You