Otherside of the World...

It's been a while since I've cried.  Really cried, cried so hard I couldn't breathe.
It's been a while since I've laughed. Really laughed, laughed so hard I hurt.
It's been a while since I've relaxed. Really relaxed, relaxed so much I melted.
It's been a while since I've been mad. Really mad, mad enough to punch.

It's been a while since I've felt. I've been pretty wrapped up in a state of constant stress and annoyance for well over a month now. Thanksgiving (at work and at home) is always loaded down with expectations and stress. It is not my holiday. It is awkward and uncomfortable. It's a big giagantic Sunday dinner with added demands and family drama.
So I've been a bit numb to pretty much anything other than this stress until last night.
I got home to find my brother there. I had been looking forward to a night alone, to embrace my own dorkiness and an early bed time.  I went straight from agrivated to mad. 
We wound up watching the Muppets and I laughed on of those full body laughs.
He left and I wound up checking my voice mail and I stumbled on a concert call from a friend... and I cried. Blubbering waste of energy cry.
And then I took a deep breath and relaxed. Curled up on the bed and read Beowulf.

I haven't had a night that emotionally draining and fulfilling since October.

So todays song, is the song from the concert call, Song To Sing - Hanson.
Goodbye four leaf clovers
Hello gone awry
Don't cry the fight ain't over
Unless you let it pass you by

I'm looking for a song to sing
I'm looking for a friend to borrow
I'm looking for my radio
So I might find a heart to follow
I've never been just longing for your loving
I've never been just wearing down to nothing
I've never been just looking for a reason
So that maybe you'd be thinking of me

All that I have found in reason
Is reason just to not believe
When all that you're left is treason
It's treason just to let it be

I'm looking for a song to sing
I'm looking for a friend to borrow
I'm looking for my radio
So I might find a heart to follow
I've never been just longing for your loving
I've never been just wearing down to nothing
I've never been just looking for a reason
So that maybe you'd be thinking of me

Blue yonder dreams and second hand shoes
You're so far gone that you live to close
And it's too late to go home all alone
You're the tar in that old cigar
And the worn out cable on a cable car
And you're too tired to admit you've got to chose

I'm looking for a song to sing
I'm looking for a friend to borrow
I'm looking for my radio
So I might find a heart to follow
I've never been just longing for your loving
I've never been just wearing down to nothing
I've never been just looking for a reason
So that maybe you'd be thinking of me